On Saturday, I stayed strong until Jessi went in for the emergency surgery, then I walked out to the lawn outside the surgery center and cried. What else could I do but cry, and write?

So here we are again. It's just unbelievable. I can't believe we're here at the hospital again, here in the same room doing the same surgery that we just did in December. I just can't believe that this baby isn't coming to see us either.


I just don't get it. I just don't understand why we can't keep one. It just feels so unfair. It's just so so so sad.