/ Avery

Telling People About the Miscarriage

So, Evan and I told everyone who knew that we were pregnant about the miscarriage with in the first couple days after the first of the news. We then updated everyone that the miscarriage was confirmed after the 2nd ultrasound.

However, there were people in our life that we wanted to share this part of our lives with that we hadn’t had a chance to tell about our pregnancy yet. It is a little harder to begin with this news than to begin with the news of our pregnancy. Yet, Evan and I firmly believe that God gave us the incredible gift of a child, and that while we may not get to meet this child this side of Heaven, our child was still a life. We want to keep the memory of our precious Avery alive.

So, we began telling people in various ways. Sometimes it actually came up in conversation, and sometimes we made the choice to share. Either way it was important to us to share, and to keep sharing.

One of the harder times to share was actually the first group of people that I told that didn’t know about the pregnancy, which was our young adults women small group. These women are my closest friends, and we were waiting until knowing the due date to share with them. The first week we had Bible Study after my miscarriage we were reading the next chapter in Christine Caine’s Undaunted, which just happened to be on Christine’s own story of a miscarriage. I mean seriously, COME ON, of course it was. I knew that going to group that night would obviously segway into my own so recent experience, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to lay all of that out there because this was Sept 19th, before we’d had the 2nd ultrasound to confirm. My mind wasn’t even sure about whether this was or wasn’t a miscarriage yet.

Luckily, my friend Shaina reminded me that this is what I kept saying I wanted - to share with friends to get support and to share Avery’s life. Ah, yes, I know. So, I went - shaking in my shoes, but I went. Shaina kept giving me opportunities to share, and I would change the topic. Good thing she is patient! Eventually, I spilled my heart and obviously all the women were incredibly supportive. They cried with me, laughed with me, let me tell the entire long story - both the good news and the sad news, and ultimately, prayed with me. I’m so thankful for them. After this, I felt much more ready to share and felt more ready to face the 2nd ultrasound.